*preorders*

no more humanity for me im just this guy forever:

Just a lil Jon doodle. This is probably set in s2, because I love giving paranoid jon the fogged up glasses. It gives not seeing/believing the truth/what's right in front of him.

O to be outside and huge and naked

Hobbies are so much more likely to be enjoyed and continued when you allow yourself to celebrate the small victories.

Hobbies are supposed to be enjoyed. You don't have to take your writing so seriously, celebrate those small victories, those little milestones, instead of getting upset you haven't done more. :)

Go grab yourself some ice cream or a milkshake or a small cake or pie or candy or your favorite snack.

You deserve to feel proud, not upset or ashamed, of your progress.

wait I’ve been thinking about it & one of the reasons it makes sense that laszlo is best friends with his neighbor who is literally just some guy is because of everyone in that house (guillermo included) he’s most in touch with his humanity. his morals are flimsy at best but he still has a surprising amount of empathy. he gave colin robinson the best possible month when he found out he was going to die, and then stayed behind alone to raise baby colin. he’s killed gregor dozens of times bc he hurt nadja’s feelings. when he was jackie daytona he decided to not only get a job, but a job where he was surrounded/interacted with humans & even helped raise money for a girls volleyball team. his hobbies include gardening, music, and watching home improvement shows. of course he & seanie r the best of bros

its not my fault for seeing a boy and knowing i could make him moan like a girl. i literally have eyes

Imagine being the last owner of Hanako, that 226 year old Japanese koi that was spawned in 1751 and died in 1977. A fish that outlived 7 emperors. A fish that survived the Second World War. And she dies in your care. I would never recover.

another important thing to remember is 1) u can pick up any hobby at any point in ur life and get outstandingly good at it & 2) the project u've been working on & aren't pleased w the current outcome so far will not be your last. u will draw/crochet/paint/sculpt/write another piece, and another, and you will have many chances to be fully content w your craft. so you should cherish the joy of making art instead of worrying ab the results & think ab how lovely it is that we're all vessels for artistry and we can share the divine act of creation!!!!!

Things that real life sex has taught me that isn't in porn :

• Shaking during sex, no no, not her legs, him. Yeah. It happens to men too, from anticipation and excitement. I only had one partner who used to have that sometimes and the first time it freaked me out lol.
• Queefing, that has to happen at least once during sex, I mean, air goes in, sorry but it's gonna have to come out.
• Going too deep actually hurts, oh my fucking god lol. IYKYK. Hitting the cervix feels like ... hmmm. Dying. Yeah, death. Like I felt your penis in my actual guts and now I need to throw up because the cramping is horrendous. Thanks, don't do that again. Does the chick in porn not have a cervix or??? I have literally thrown up from this before, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced during sex, hands down.
• That he might lose his boner mid-sex, this one's a big one lol pun intended. And uh, it might not be your fault. Actually most of the time it isn't. And guys, if it does happen, please communicate, it's really not a big deal, at least not for me, Im down to help, and also I can feel it getting softer okay lol don't be lying.
• Sometimes it can be painful for the guy too, this one's more common for men who have foreskin, at least in my experience.
• That you can get your period mid-sex, oh man. A sad moment for all of us. But here's the thing, when you're orgasming, everything contracts, and your uterus will contract and unfortunately if you were expecting it, welp, here it is. So yeah, it happens. But that's pretty great, personally i'm able to make my period come faster by masturbating over and over, true story (only if its a day or two away).
• You can probably orgasm but it's not a given, or taking way longer than you thought. I have ridden dick like my life depended on it because I was felt it annnnnnnnnd it was gone, annnnnd it's back, noooope it's gone.
• Related to the last point, looking cute when orgasming, sweetie listen, I look like I ran a marathon and like Im about to die (plus im a smoker, imagine that). So that lady in porn who's like *cute voice* oohh I'm coming! ... idk about you but I don't look cute when im about to cum super hard lol.
• Stopping mid-sex because you don't feel like it anymore.
• Sometimes it takes forever to get a condom or to put it on, relax dude, no one's judging you, I would rather you don't give me an std or a baby so take your time.
• There's no shame in asking to put a towel down, fluids, we have those, and we have a lot of those, and sometimes, some of us can unexpectedly squirt, whatever tf that fluid is, it's gonna go everywhere.
• That female lubrication can have a different color/texture depending on where she's at in her cycle/if she has an infection.
• Sex is smelly.
• A lot of us moan louder than we actually want to, to help you out. I have done that before, when bored or when the guy was doing something I didn't really enjoy but he did. Whatever, hey at least I've never faked an orgasm, Im literally not giving you that lol if you suck, you suck sorry. Now ... the reason you prob shouldn't do that is that he's gonna think he's doing something good, when really he isn't. Then he's gonna have sex with someone else, and do the same shit, and she's also not gonna cum. Don't be the reason another lady can't have an orgasm ok.
• That trying different positions isn't super glamorous. Some hurt, some don't feel like anything, some are awkward. Just because your bestie swears by reverse cowgirl, doesn't mean it'll work for you.
• That it's ok to stop and take a water and snack break, sorry one sec, Im hypoglycemic.
• That a lot of the time when you get fucked hard enough, you're shifting, like, quite a bit, and next thing you know you're almost falling off the bed, it's not cute, who cares.
• That sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, painful, not enjoyable, and that all of that is normal.

be pro-aging but wear sun screen. sun protection is not beauty industry propaganda it will save you. wear it. or else.

@staff openly tagging face selfies of trans women as sexual content after you already lost ONE lawsuit over queerphobic moderation is quite a fucking move